Healing Shoulders, Healed horses and

I’m doing a bit of a happy dance after getting my latest reports from the surgeon (via the PT) and the PT person.  First of all, I learned that one of my PT people who’ve helped me so much is a former Laker Girl and helped choreograph music videos for Michael Jackson (including Thriller which she was in), Janet Jackson, Justin Timberlake and Stevie Nicks (!) (including Stand Back). She knew my cousin who’s a drummer in a rock band that is doing a revival of sorts and has a bit of a European following.  Small world huh?

I once took my passport for a renewal in a music studio filming a hip hop video. That was kind of fun.  Gets pretty technical and I remember that blocking scenes in plays was as interesting as watching paint dry.  But they serve good food.

It’s interesting what you learn about people and listening to their life experiences.  Got great therapists and was lucky to get referred there. I don’t know if I’d be doing as well otherwise.  I’m excited about getting my cool yellow rubber band so I can finally start some resistance work.  Surgeon said no for quite a while on that one b/c I’ve got so much scar tissue on some muscles that it’d just rip if they were used that way.

But anyway, I got good reports back. The surgeon is apparently more amazed and ecstatic than he’s usually I guess and the PT people are really happy. I kind of got the hint that he was happy when he takes xrays and wanted other doctors and M.A.s in the practice to see them which I at least never had happen before.  Apparently the surgery was to mainly save my arm and I wasn’t expected to get much if any range of motion back.   I guess very hard work, great therapists and apparently an unusually high pain threshold which I supposedly have made it possible to do unusually well though I still have at least two years rehab left. It’s likely I won’t get all the use of my arm or shoulder back though since falling on the equivalent of a concrete spike strip.  But when crap happens, you just try to do the best you can with it.  Things could be a lot worse.   I just choose to try to hang around positive people and have fun during my rehabilitation and it sure beats sitting around and watch a bunch of insecure bullies prove their merit by beating on each other and trashing everyone else.   No game’s worth that. It’s just draining to even watch it and takes a lot of the fun away for quite a few people. Not that it matters of course as long as those who bully people and make it unpleasant are happy of course.

Oh and the surgeon was okay. Hey it was tough just to find a surgeon who not only could do the surgery but who’d attempt it.  Fortunately he’s known in these parts for tackling challenging cases. It’s funny because he’s known for his not so good bedside manner.   I’ve not seen anything like that from him as he’s always been very nice to me and unlike most specialist type of doctors takes the time to answer questions and deal with issues.   Even when I asked him why people thought he was an ass.  His answer was interesting.

I’m also celebrating because one of my fake horses, Wait Another Week is off the DL list for some tendon thing.  I’ll do what his name says next time and, wait another week. 🙂  I finally made it back to Chat. The people are so nice and since it’s moderated almost 24/7 (yes, it can be done!) it’s amazingly and very nicely free of drama. You know what’s funny is that most of the people in the game that whined about too much drama were causing like 99% of it themselves with their chat and forum antics much to the weary sighing of most of the rest of us.

It’s been great to be away from that type of drama!  People discuss things and have fun rather than bully up against their targets or score points off of each other. So even though I’ve not had as much time, it’s been much more fun.  I like socializing. I don’t like bullying and the old game’s “solution” to bullying is to tell players who don’t do it, don’t like it to go hide in their caves so to speak. That’s not the way to deal with it which they’ll figure out when it really gets out of hand and/or it gets them sued which if it’s allowed to continue unabated will likely happen at some point because it’s happened elsewhere in similar circumstances.  That certainly wouldn’t be fun to watch.

I like playing a game where they don’t push the people who don’t bully and cause problems into imposing restrictions on their participation but restrict the bullies instead.   It’s too bad that didn’t exist in the other game but I appreciate the efforts made in the newer games. I think that’s why they seem to attract a lot of new players and actually seem to hold onto them longer.

When you make an effort to not cater to bullies and such negative people that dominate in the social outlets, invariably it will help you become more successful. Business 101 tells you that the two go hand in hand. I’ve seen that with the sites that I help moderate. It’s really apparent.   Except for the occasional player who gets suspended and is shocked I guess that someone finally told them “no you can’t be an ass”, it’s pretty fun.  Actually that part’s fun too especially when people thank you for parking a naughty player for a much needed time out.

UPDATE on the disgusted bigoted hateful letter to the family of an autistic child in that police determined it’s not a hate crime. In the United States, it’d be a federal hate crime at least as the disabled are considered a “protected class” though it’s possible it might qualify under a lesser standard of “hate incident”.  Different states have different similar laws.  I read something similar that was posted all over my city’s downtown, otherwise known as the infamous “one less nigger” flyer.  The flyer artist praised the police for shooting a Black woman and said for them to keep up the good work at ridding the city’s of  that “trash and filth”.  I first saw two people who worked for an ambulance company ripping them and crumpling them.  I asked them to leave two of them out and got my camera to photograph and then took one of them.  It’s not easy to be calm enough to take photos of something so ugly and offensive. Your hands shake a bit and it might take an attempt or two but it’s doable.

People wanted copies to give to various organizations and LE agencies but the photo used on the flyer was so far removed from its original source  that it couldn’t be copied in any detail.  The specific language of the flyer when researched did provide important clues from where it came from because one little detail about the woman shot that was present only  in the DA’s investigative review which was read by probably less than two dozen people and none of them were members of the public.   I reported it to a police sergeant and gave him a copy that the police department never received nor was a report taken on it.  Within the day I received phone calls from an FBI case agent, a DOJ Community Relations rep and a newspaper reporter.   The official explanation from the city and the police was that it was some parolee who did it.  But that didn’t seem likely.  It took a while but I pressured the police chief, the mayor and the city council to condemn a flyer that should been done right away.    That was kind of stupid.

I was able to figure out that the flyer was posted by 10 pm the previous evening as another party saw them and took one home to call the police reporting it at 2 a.m.  A few flyers were found on a residential street about 2 1/2 miles from where they were posted which possibly indicated that they originated in that neighborhood.

Article came out and quoted me (and I think I just said it made me want to vomit or something equally erudite, I’m not known for my sound bytes) and later that night I got an anonymous phone call from a gentleman who was upset about it who told me he knew where I lived, blah blah blah.  Pfffft.   White Supremacist acting people just suck but most of them are cowards just like any type of bully. Western Hammarskin, Nazi Low Riders, AB, Question Authority, White Aryan Resistance, etc., they’re all pretty much the same except the Hammarskins are broke now.

So I do understand what it’s like to stare right at an expression of hatred and bigotry and how much worse must it be to be a relative who’s a target! That’s a different type of pain and fear.

Awful and cowardly but in my experience almost all bigots are cowards inside, a bunch of bravado and hot air outside.  I’ve just never seen or heard of a brave bully, certainly not a pack of like minded ones and I’ve stood up to all kinds of bullies in all shapes and forms all my life.

Having a family member who’s been diagnosed with a condition similar to autism, I know that there’s so much bigotry against people that are like that and I know of cases where neighbors complained or people got nice little “helpful” notes though not advocating euthanasia. Whether it’s hateful labels, stereotypical jokes all the way down to hate incidents and hate crimes including assault and murder it’s really all the same in the sense that people who toss around “retard” jokes and use derogatory stereotypes to bully others and people who harass and assault people would have more in common than not in their belief systems and prejudices. My former minister who’s involved in combating youth violence in Lexington, Kentucky has a son with autism that she’s written about who’s starting school and was scared of the bullies that are  out there waiting to pick on any kid that’s “different”.   My niece faced that, she faced the mentality of some of those Chat Rats whose need to amuse themselves when they’re bored through their favorite activity which happens to be picking on people, trumps the feelings of other people that they don’t even know.

Then you have a crowd of players who go along to get along and watching them and reading some of the screen shots forwarded to me, unfortunately they go along with that and you realize there really are a lot of people in the game who think “retard” type jokes and stereotypes are hilarious and useful tools to bully or trash other players.  The primary bullies all hid behind other players, they hid behind the admins, they didn’t even take responsibility for their own behavior and acted like they’re the victims after bullying a teen.  Pretty silly that they can’t own up to what they do and have to blame others for their conscientious decision to be bullies.

Not exactly people to be impressed by in my book.  Maybe for some of them achieving a little maturity might help, for others they’re just mean spirited and that’s not something likely to ever be fixed.

So with this letter is it for real or is it not?  That’s hard to prove either way but when you’re jaded like me and have seen that type of mentality expressed anonymously or otherwise before it’ll take forensics or an admission to make it believable as a hoax, not the erroneous belief that it has to be fake because human beings would never believe or write those type of hateful, bigoted comments about other human beings.  Yes they do, and from my experience in Chat, how I saw “special” people or “retards” as one male player liked to call them used to bully other players, there’s nothing that I read in that Chat room that would indicate that a letter like the one reported in Canada couldn’t ever happen. In fact, it’s just one more thing that makes a letter like that more believable.  The difference is that in the real case, you have people who actually give a damn and think it’s wrong.  In Chat, you had no one speak up among the Chat Rats or their syncopates say one thing to criticize that behavior.  For all I know, maybe they think euthanizing autistic kids is as hilarious as saying they or “Simple Jacks” lick the windows of short buses.  Sad to say, it wouldn’t surprise me.

Love this posting, thanks so much Stephani!  It’s from Autism: Different Not Less.

seelifedifferently

“But here’s the thing…people, including children…ARE actually killed for having a disability. I wouldn’t say it’s “all the time” but even once is too much. So while I’m seeing this letter go viral all over the internet and on the news…why isn’t there the same amount of outrage for the ones that are killed?”

—Blogger “Lisa” citing some examples

Some player whined and whined about how the only thing I ever talked about was HOA stuff. It’s really too bad they felt that way but thankfully I don’t have to read that negative material anymore. I guess everything else seems boring in comparison to joking about killing players, entertaining yourself by bullying teenaged players using demeaning stereotypes and other similar suitable topics for Chat that mean there at the expense of players outside the clique.    But I’ve really enjoyed my time spent on the board…except dealing with broken sprinklers. The ones that spray up like geyers and then for some reason refuse to turn off.   This week, two of them broke.

IMG00003-20130821-1231

Icky broken sprinklers. This “capped” one required the irrigation system on one side of the street to be turned  off!  Twice in one week. With the temps hitting 100 for the first time since June, it had to get fixed quickly and fortunately both were repaired within a couple hours.

IMG00818-20130602-1341 (1)

Another broken one!

I can’t await until we can switch to drip irrigation. We approved the first phase of the project tonight as part of about $22,000 of projects that got spent from the god awfully boring sewers (which were trumped by the much more thrilling topic of bashing a new player for saying “real” too often) and tree removals.  I didn’t think I’d enjoy my board service. I was drafted on the floor to do it during some major crisis but after I cosigned a six figure check settlement on a stupid lawsuit our board inherited that should have never happened, it’s been a blast. 🙂

This from Dolores! 🙂  She said the “your/you’re” boo boo is a stick in her eye. I agree. Really that’s one of the easier ones to get right.  Cyber bullies, remember it’s “you’re a crazy bitch” NOT “your a crazy bitch”. Just repeat that a few times or a 100 before it sinks in your vastly superior intelligent brain.  🙂   But I know if I’d called someone a “crazy bitch” or “crazy biotch” in the game, I certainly wouldn’t have gotten a pass for it like some folks there apparently regularly did because after all, they’re still there.   I actually suspended someone for a week for calling someone else a bitch.  I know, I’m so mean aren’t I by not allowing them to have their fun at the expense of others and for putting them first at the expense of people who behave themselves.

Another from the grammar sites with some clarification on appropriate and very proper word usage with those annoying homonyms. I always check my than/thens to make sure I’m not mixing them up but I’ve gotten so much better at it.  I’m not anal about what people use unless I have to be but I don’t verbally club people over the head with it.

grammarareus

No it’s not.  Thankfully. But I think if you call people “idiots” “morons” or “bitches” with the wrong pronoun, you should really just park your meanness and sense of moral and intellectual superiority for a bit while you get your own spelling in order.

Yay!  Zombies!  No a crowd of people texting while they walk.

zombiesareamongus

I’m still trying to catch up on Walking Dead and trying to ignore the fact that most of the main characters killed are  women.  Oh yeah, it’s a television show.

This came in from Tanya and I thought it was cute.

littlegirlworldchanger

This one posted too.  It’s very true of course.

opinionsdontmatteractiondoes

As is this one. Sometimes your voice will shake and that’s all right. I used to vomit when I spoke in public.  I debuted speaking at a school board meeting on naming a school after MLK jr. which you never would have thought would have generated as much controversy as it did.  Lots of great speeches and some pretty racist ones like how parents were worried their kids couldn’t get into Ivy League if the admission office thought they went to a “Black school”.

It was interesting how racially polarized it was, and how much press came out, including CNN which aired it live and the New York Times, attracted basically by bigotry.   The picture in the Times was everyone sitting in the packed room, Whites on one side and African-Americans on the other divided by an aisle that might as well have been the Grand Canyon. I’d been working in youth programs by then including one with a minister who’d just passed that day and I found out right before it was my turn to speak.  You couldn’t see the board members with the television lights shining right in your face, kind of blinding you. Three minutes to speak, my ovation was mostly on the Black side, I heard a couple calls of “race traitor” (why bigots can’t be original at least I don’t understand) as I left to relieve my nervousness by tossing my cookies in the bathroom.   I got quoted in the Times at the very end which made my mother happy.  The important thing was that the school was named after King, jr.

The next year when I met his daughter Yolanda in town, I asked her what she thought about it as a lot of people knew about it.  She was pretty diplomatic nicely saying that the work her father and others before him had started, didn’t finish with his death or the passage of a generation.

speakersrulewatchershmmm

I liked it when Hit Girl took on the film’s version of the “Mean Girls” clique in her junior high school. Yes, junior high folks is where you’re supposed to see them not as adults.

Hitgirldissesmeangirlcliques

The latest twist in the Hannah Anderson kidnapping case has James Dimaggio’s family asking for DNA testing on Hannah and Ethan Anderson. Not surprising after the reveal about his $112,000 insurance policy being left not to his family including his sister who likely initiated the request for testing but to the children’s paternal grandmother.  Why? Because the parents were “on and off again”.   To be continued for sure.

Tomorrow is getting ready to install new flooring day!  Some of my friends helped get the price down for the bathrooms and will be installing it.  That’ll be fun and I have the most amazing friends anyway which this whole injury/surgery situation reminded me of…it’s nice to have friends who look out for each other when it’s needed and have a lot of fun.  I’ll be feeding them with my culinary skills. 🙂  I blew up my microwave last week so it won’t be instant

In other news, I wonder if exiled/exorcised players can still breeders awards?  I’ve heard from a few players that their “gifts” are seriously raking them in!  Take that haters. 😉

Of course they’re doing great. I worked very hard, never cheated, never screwed another player to get ahead, never pushed a player out of Chat, never tried to take advantage of a person’s medical condition to get their best horses, never called anyone names including a “Crazy Bitch”, never gangpiled on another player, never made fun of newbies’ inexperience,  never made a player feel unable to post in the forum and never, ever, ever caused a player to leave the game which is better than some of these folks can say.  I also never, ever celebrated another player’s departure or ouster and I never would do that. I just have too much class to ever reduce myself to the lowest common denominator in the game.

The game has made it clear that’s what it wants and that’s cool certainly for the bullying cluster. When a mod has to worry about disciplining too many of their own friends, that’s kind of a red flag anyway that it’s not a great place for people not in that circle to be if they have to reduce their access to the game just to not have to deal with people who violate the rules in an environment that doesn’t really hold them accountable.

I’d rather stick to playing games that are into attracting players who are nice, don’t cheat,  never joked about killing players, never threatened or discussed harming other players, don’t screw each other over, make the chat/forum outlets unwelcoming to people or chase people out of the game and celebrate after  the fact.  I’m proud of being yes, too self-righteous to do that and I think that’ll be appreciated in more places than it’s not. It’s not easy when players openly antagonize you or circle jerk you or just are nasty to you in ways that show that it really has nothing to do with you, but it’s part of being an adult not a petulant child.

That’s what works for me and I’m smart enough to know that players like me, we’re another games’ gain off of another game’s loss.  But thanks to those who are taking good care of my binary horses. I appreciate it and everything that you do and did to bring some positivity to the game. Maybe some day it’ll deserve you.

Oh this on’e pretty good!  Yeah there was life before the internet!

beingfortyisnotthenew20itsbetter

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About Butterfly Collective

I'm just an ordinary person doing ordinary things in a not so ordinary world
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